Wayne Wiffed! A swing and a miss!

I flunked my exam AGAIN! Waaah! Unbelievable...but true. I didn't do much better than the previous time. I'm not sure how to proceed from here, but I need to do something different...that's for sure. Back to the drawing board.

I finished my paperwork, TB test & fingerprinting for Alisal Union School District this week. They should be calling me to start by mid-next week. Mean time I'm waiting for a call from Alvarez. They said they would make a decision this week, but I'm learning that one can't rely on statements of this nature from prospective employers.

Meanwhile, I have another interview coming up this coming week with SSCS, Inc. who write software for, and install and maintain systems for running gas station/convenience stores. They pay better than the school, but significant travel is required. When I was asking God whether I should fork out the money for the TB test and fingerprinting (which we can't really afford right now) I got this verse twice:

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty." Phil 4:11,12a

I'm not sure if that means not to worry about the cost of the 2 pre-requisites, or that I'm not getting the Alvarez job and just need to deal with the fact that the school job is where I'm supposed to be, even though the pay is way under the market rate for this area. More shall be revealed.

I heard an interesting tidbit regarding Alisal Union School District: my boss-to-be has been picketing for better pay! Rock on AG!

Speaking of hearing from God: Lisa and I have been wanting to become better community group leaders. We haven't really had a good spiritual focus to our meetings...more just feasting and fellowship. But I've been reading a book I got from The Word Shop titled: Surprised By The Voice Of God by . Besides the obvious, it deals with being led by the Spirit and leveraging the Gifts of the Spirit. So as I was praying about our community group, it suddenly occurred to me that what might be really cool besides coming up with something to study is to see people really begin to operate in the Spirit so that we are all ministering to each other rather then me feeling like the 'Under-Shepherd' trying to nurture the flock from my own misguided sense of how things aught to be. (as IF!) That's not 'Church'! I've been asking God to speak to me lately (which is something I have fear around...long story), and I don't remember how this realization came to me or how it felt, but I remember vividly that as I stood at the bottom of the stairs, looking up at my beautiful wife, as soon as I voiced my feeling that we should study the gifts of the Spirit as a group, the Holy Spirit tickled my insides in that (to me) familiar way that tells me: "Hey Wayne...God speaking...this is from me! Thanks for playing. Love, God."

The beat goes on...

=^)Wayne

In The Beginning...

"In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.

And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was on the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters. Then God said, "Let there be light"; and there was light. And God saw the light, that it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness. God called the light Day, and the darkness He called Night. So the evening and the morning were the first day." Genesis 1:1-5 (NKJV - slightly modified by me =^)

So, this is like my life. God had this great idea: Wayne Shaddock! But then something happened. Just like with God's creation, sin entered the picture and all hell broke loose. (You may never figure out why God let it go down like that - but it doesn't hurt to try either.)

So I heard this theory one time that makes a lot of sense to me: verses 1 & 2 of Genesis 1 are not consecutive chronologically. In other words there was a significant passage of time between the original creation and the part where the earth "was void and without form". Makes sense. I don't see any other examples of God doing anything funky or chaotic. Something happened between verse 1 and verse 2 that messed up God's creation. Like the Church Lady says: "Could it be...Satan?!"

So in my life I often feel conflicted, chaotic, "without form and void". But I know the same God who said "Let there be LIGHT!" And there was and it was good. My Father in Heaven knows what's broken in my life and he knows how to fix it. But still I struggle with chaos. I get freaked out when I look at myself and just see a big void. I forget to look with my spiritual eyes. But when I do I see that God doesn't abandon his beloved creation to chaos and purposelessness. I just have to trust him.

His promises are rich and plentiful...and he is faithful!

For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. 1 Cor 14:33

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Tim 1:7

It's cold today and I'm staying home with my doggie, Gina. Tonight is Lisa's company Christmas dinner at The Chop House in Carmel...yummy!